


A Rock That Spoke a Word (An Animated Mineral It Can Be Heard)

by spuffyduds



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Crack, Dog(s), Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-24
Updated: 2010-01-24
Packaged: 2017-10-06 15:47:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spuffyduds/pseuds/spuffyduds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Set in and after "Valiant," and narrated by the dog.  As for warnings--well, it's narrated by the dog.  Dogs, they have a different concept of gross.</p>
    </blockquote>





	A Rock That Spoke a Word (An Animated Mineral It Can Be Heard)

**Author's Note:**

> Set in and after "Valiant," and narrated by the dog. As for warnings--well, it's narrated by the dog. Dogs, they have a different concept of gross.

The first thing I feel is a warmth spreading through my..._legs_, they're _legs_ now, free and twitching, not just columns of stone. And then heat everywhere, blood pumping, heat and movement and delight.

"YARK!" I say happily, and my master blinks at me.

*****************************************************

The first few days are torrents of sensation, gleeful wallowing in the sights and the sounds and ye gods the SMELLS. Sweat and wine and brine and dung and hay and on and on, rolling on my back in something that died in the street, _ecstasy_.

I eat good things and marvel at the heavy happy sated feeling in my stomach. I eat bad things and throw up and vow not to eat bad things again.

I eat bad things again.

And the sex! There is sex! There are dogs whose parts interlock with my own, rhythmically! Rapture.

Also, I can lick my own balls.

****************************************************

Eventually, this palls somewhat. The other dogs, I note, are not like me. I grow tired of mounting a bitch and telling her, "Oh, joy, oh perfection; the glide, the squeeze of you is heaven, the rank smell of you is paradise!" and having her respond with, "New dog fucking me. Smells like ham."

"Are you not moved, my darling?" I say desperately. "Is this not ecstasy? Have you nothing to say for yourself?"

"Um," she says. "This morning I peed! Later I will pee again."

***************************************************

I lurk under my master's cot while he mounts the blond one, note sadly that _they_ seem to understand one another.

"Was that good?" I say, when they've finished. "It certainly lasted a long time."

My master falls off the cot. He stares at me in the shadows beneath it.

"Was that _you_?" he says.

"Was _what_ me?" the blond one says. "And you're even less graceful than usual tonight. We need a bigger bed."

"Yes, that was me," I say. "Fine time you seemed to be having. Glad _someone_ has an affectionate bitch."

"I--what--he's not my _bitch_!" Master says.

"I should hope not," the blond says. "Are you _drunk_? Get back up here."

**************************************************

"I cannot figure out why you can _talk_ to me," Master says.

"Questions of philosophy do not concern me," I tell him. "I am searching for love."

"You can get that anywhere!"

"Not true love," I say. "Not the love of an equal, of a partner, of a dog who can have a decent conversation."

Master makes fists in his headfur. "How is this my life?" he says.

"I'm all alooooooooooooone," I say, and howl out loud for emphasis. "TRAPPED. In a world I never made."

"I give up," he says, and walks out.

**************************************************

He returns with the other dog statue, staggering beneath its weight. And talks at it for quite some time, gesturing frantically, until--yes! it stirs, it lives, its tongue hangs out.

Master glares at me. "Rocky," he says, "meet Pebbles. Long may you love," and he falls facefirst onto his cot.

************************************************

We do in fact love long. And frequently.

"You are birdsong in the trees," I tell her, thrusting happily. "You are a scratch between the ears and sixteen bellyrubs and the perfect stench of a long-dead rodent."

"You are my love," she says. "You are mighty and fierce and toothy and you must fuck me harder right now or I will bite your ear off."

She is _perfect_.

Later, Master and the blond one will return, and odds are that they will be soaked in blood and monster gore, and will perhaps have stepped in fewmets.

And once they are asleep, Pebbles and I can lick their feet.

Life is good.

 

\--END--


End file.
